It's week 3 and the humans are starting to get on my nerves.
Something's going on with the humans. I'm not sure what, but something is different.
I was really excited when Logan showed up, 3 weeks ago, out of the blue with all those boxes of clothes. It's been a while since he's lived here, but I remember that he thinks the floor of his room is where all things cotton should be placed - clean or dirty. My favorite are dirty socks, underwear, and shorts. I take them, chew on them, and then hide them under the bed, causing him to say, "Where the hell's my other sock." We've been playing this game for years. I think it funny he still asks the question. It's good to have him home!
He didn’t seem as happy about it as I was. I keep hear him mumbling about being #1 and not winning a National Championship. Mom refers to it as March Sadness. She removed my Jayhawk collar and said, “We won’t be needing this anymore.”
Mom was around all the time too. This meant more trips outside to potty, more walks, and more "deck time." We would start our day on the sofa in the bedroom watching Savannah and Hoda, then to the kitchen in the afternoon, and sometimes she disappears into the office (which I'm not allowed in because the carpet in there is still in perfect condition).
This is great, I thought. The family is back together.
The humans are still hanging around.... a lot. And not just my humans. My neighborhood pals, their humans seem to be around a lot too.
Logan has set himself up in the basement. Mom calls it "The Man-Child Cave". This is good news for me. Another area of the house that's been off-limits. When people ask why the stairs to the basement are blocked, I hear Mom say, "She's 'not to be trusted' Puggle." Well, that may be the case, but even Mom's not going to deny me access to him since he's spending 23 out of 24 hours a day down there. Mostly sleeping. More good news. This allows me unguarded access to the trash can, dirty plates, food wrappers, and yep, you guessed it, more dirty socks, underwear, and shorts. It's a Puggle's Paradise!
Logan’s mumbling again about the round of 16 and how he’d be in Indy if it weren’t for Corona, which I know Mom keeps in the fridge in early May, but not this time of year. Not sure what that beverage has to do with Indy, but he’s pissed off.
It's weird to have Mom around all the time. She's not normally here every day. It's ok, I guess, but I miss Mary. She comes and takes care of me when Mom's gone. My friend Anna showed up this week. She drops in from time to time to take me out to potty and feed me when Mom's too busy. She took me on a walk. I heard Mom say that everyone must be starting to get bored if Anna was willing to walk me for FREE. I don't think that was a compliment, but who cares. More walks!
Mom is starting to spend a lot of time talking to that square metal object with the piece of fruit on the front (which doesn't smell or have any flavor, by the way). I checked it out when she wasn't around, and I wasn't impressed.
I'm concerned about this for 2 reasons:
- This doesn't seem like something normal humans do. I mean it's one thing for her to talk to me, like I understand what the hell she's saying, but I've tried talking to that piece of square metal. No response. Kinda rude if you ask me.
- I'm getting yelled at..... a lot when she’s using it. Mostly, "Stop barking! You're making me crazy." she then mumbles under her breath, "I had to buy a part Beagle. Good thing she's cute. Only thing keeping her alive."
I mean, where's the "Compassion and Empathy" I keep hearing her talk to the square metal thing about all day? All these windows and all those humans I've never seen before walking, biking, pushing strollers with small humans, and walking my neighborhood pals. I’m just trying to make a “human connection”, I got that from Mom too.
She also says we’re going to be the fittest alcoholics on the planet when “this” is over. Whatever “this” is.
I’m sure next week Logan will disappear back to wherever he is when he’s not here and Mom’s friend Mary will come hang out for a few days, but it’s been good to have them around.
My circadian rhythm is off! This is 100% Logan’s fault! The humans are still here, in the house, MY house, ALL day and Night!
Although Mom seems to be bothered by Logan sleeping all the time, it appears she prefers me asleep. I’m trying - trust me. But with the humans around all the time and so much activity outside, I’m afraid I might miss something! Awake is the new asleep.
I was wrong about Logan sleeping all the time. I was confused because when I went down to play with him during the day, he was sleeping. What I figured out is the reason he was sleeping when I want to play is, he’s up all night talking to a larger square piece of metal than Mom’s, with no fruit on it. Not just talking - laughing, yelling - loudly! There are wild hand movements and gyrations too. I’m trying to be a good pal. Hang out and support all this late night/early morning activity, but I’m exhausted. I hear Mom talking to him about less Xbox and more cardio to stay physically and mentally healthy. Does this late-night activity count as cardio?
Mom’s sleep situation isn’t much better. She’s going to bed at the usual time, but now she’s awake between 2am – 5am. So, during this time we’re listening to Audible, Podcasts, and she sometimes fires up the square metal thing – but she doesn’t talk to it at night. Hard to sleep with the bright light from that metal thing. I was excited when she started listening to “Uncaged”, hopeful that it would be about my kind. Not the case. The Brene Brown Podcast with Alicia Keys was entertaining- worth a listen.
Logan is sad again. Says he should be partying on Massachusetts Street, watching them hang the banner in the Phog, and going to a parade. He says he misses the Bull, the Wheel, and Bullwinkle’s – seems like a lot of cow references. It is Kansas after all.
Ok- so the first few weeks were cool, but now the stress of having the humans around all the time is getting to me. I’m exhausted from all the walks, late night activity, and the constant opportunity to bark at the outside humans. I sure hope things get back to normal soon. Mom calls it the new normal. I myself am ready to get my house back!
Stay tuned to see what the humans are up to next week……..